The day after you left, a biting wind brewed in the city. I walked down familiar streets, the streets parallel to our route two days prior, with my black jacket on, the thin metal butterflies on my earrings tinkling violently against each other, gold against green against gold. I exited campus, passed by Grange Park, veered around the construction that I had noticed when we first met, all to the sounds of this wind, which […]
I am listening to a song and I can no longer listen, but still I listen to the song, because… Well, I don’t know at all. I don’t think I have ever remembered the feeling, the exposure of a moment so deeply. It turns deeply beyond my mind and within my stomach. It was the beginning and somehow already the end, though everything is already an end (01/12/20).
Australia is burning. The American flag is being burned in Iran. There is no adequate, virtuous-enough transition that permits me to gently guide myself into telling the goodness of my day. (So why I did not just start with a less grabbing line… Why I did I simply not count my blessings…) 10 in Vancouver, 4 in Toronto, and -3 in Winnipeg. It was bliss – warm, “literally hot,” as I told the barista at […]
Is something you decide on, and something you must accept for yourself. This life would be all the worst without yearning. Whether I’m trying to make an assurance for myself or a truth, I am not sure, and I am not sure if it matters, because what is said has been said. If I’ve read more than I’ve lived, than I know nothing of either. Either way, I know nothing of either. The only thing […]
In words, in the very thought of words, I find the only comfort I am able to give myself. Not the words as memory, or as anticipation, or as honouring. The words as their very presence, because any more and I shall gain them, meaning I will lose them, meaning I will need to restart somehow. But no meaning, in fact, and no gains and losses, in fact, but in universe, and in my heart, […]
To hear your voices and to hear them still, and then to hear them no longer and to begin typing the end of this sentence. To cup my hands to my face, in the weight of silence, and to run your words over my mind until my cheeks are warm. To formulate this loneliness, this darkness painted blank, and to feel the time running and opening and not opening at once. To give in to […]
And I thought to myself, the night does not choose to hide. It shows itself to us fully and fully it gives way to our inner emotions, the mirror as shadow. Winter announces its long arrival and slow departure. What is darkness to those of us with promise’s light? What is this drawn breath from the heart? Wind in cycle and snow in cycle, land sounds in cycle. Countless messages, to past lives.
The streetcar down Spadina lulls one’s senses to that something beyond, the grey cloud and the red cloud, the lapping water and the calm water. This is no longer a world of wheels, nor that of beginnings and ends. When it turns (that sweet, metal curvature), the Earth turns, and we turn, and the sky deepens slowly.
The act of collecting little things of nature is delightful, children’s tales told in the early evening delightful. The granite rocks and acorns from Muskoka this weekend. The plump chestnuts on the bikelane of Hoskin Street this afternoon. The dried spotted corn from seasons ago, the mini pumpkins from Kensington Market. Those that are free are the most delightful, but regardless, they are all beautiful in their permanent impermanence. Last week during a creative writing […]
Today was the Climate Strike of Toronto, and it was a damn beautiful day, clear skies and mild wind. It felt good for the spirit. Toronto’s attendance (~75 000), paled in comparison to Montreal’s 500 000. Numbers are everything, but only everything to a certain extent. Some of my friends suggested storming a Bank next time. How do we awaken within the urgency of the situation? I know I go back and forth. Slumbering in […]
