Dear Grace, This has not been an easy year and a half for you. I’m sorry. Please take this apology and wrap it as a gift, with dignity. I’m glad I’m writing this letter for you. And I don’t know what to say. Tell me, what is it you want me to say? I can understand, how nothing in life makes sense anymore. We don’t make sense together. Here is the past, here is the […]
Joy, I can do, joy I have been practicing, joy I can practice, joy, three little letters. Move, movement, moving.
One year already? From the corner of my eye, three milk crates stacked: yellow, turquoise, blue. From hopeful to mortifying, two words. “You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you, unwaveringly, eagerly, and without question.” Grandparents unwell, please let me one conversation with my grandmother. Bucha. Oranges eaten and orange peels resting. Summer? Remote? Mistake? Disassembling one bike to assemble another. Disassembling analysis. Just allow me one person in their entirety. “Vous avez […]
Cry and we will cry with you. Touch your heart and believe how tender it is. Lean on us to lean into your pain. In your love is our own.
My weakness is lodged as the lump in my throat, the silence that I deplore, the person I do not want to be. And the lump in my throat, the stomach all tight, the eyes in one binding tear, I fight it and I let it fight me.
Thinking of my grandmother. Thinking of my mother. Thinking of deep love, deep pain. Thinking of hope, tears.
You are so utterly loveable.My God, does this world gravitate towards your heart.Tender, brimming, colour of your life,touching my own.How these years have wounded us,but favoured our togetherness.How these years have grown through us.
Lately there has been life and collapse and incomprehension. Waking up to the white window cat, frying two eggs for lunch, walking in snow hail slush, laughing too loudly and reading the news with bewilderment. Things are happening and are moving, things are changing, the Earth is changing, people passing and people crying, test taking, metaverse expanding. […] Sleep, now. If anything, sleep, for the sake of tomorrow.
If I could say, how I feel bewildered, silently unsettled, heaviness under my eyes. Do the days simply pass like this, without slow acknowledgment, without a self anchor? I did not expect to cry so badly along the streets of Toronto. I am glad I bit the inside of my cheek for as long as I could, and that I came home to a warm bed and two living souls. And that my friend called […]
Light is not always bright, and not always light, but always by and by. There is a luminosity that has been following me lately, that I have found myself treading through, which gives me a quiet strength that resurfaces should it disappear. What is it? Who is it? The truth is, I think I could say, and write, and know. How I quietly take the elevator to the third floor of the library, fold my […]
