This has been a restless week. It will be another restless week. In my restlessness I would like to remind myself of where I was, in a time very near to the present. This was a time I saw no future and did not seek for one. Where I wanted to take one year off and go hide in Northern Canada. Where I simply did not care to make a life of myself.

Somehow, the tides of life have turned things around for me. I got into one law school, the another, then a Masters program. Then I got a scholarship. And I thought—no I am not sure. Then thought—wow, I am beyond excited. But soon after—geez, I am not sure about law and what about the program I am still waiting for? Following a reassuring call with a mentor I affirmed—law and this scholarship is a solid, good path. Yet one day later (today) I am ruminating, stressed—what about US law schools? Will they propel me to spheres of power I cannot imagine?

First, I realize, I must calm myself down. What I am truly stressed about is signing a contract and then backing from it. What I am also stressed about is the stress of delaying decisions, making plans. So then, I am to think—there is no wrong choice. Whichever experience I inhabit, I will make the best of it, and I should also choose the experience where I will be allowed to find time to be my own human too. In life we can go many different paths. But one person, at one moment, can only make one decision. Life splinters into different paths in our mind, but in real life, we walk one path with many offerings. But it is still, one path. To see myself as a high-ranking diplomat—yes. To see myself as a community lawyer—yes. I am all of those right now, I do not know which one I will want to become and so there is no point in worrying about that. I can become a print-maker, a shop-owner, a poet, an English professor. The figs are abundant. The figs will drop, but that does not mean I am paralyzed. Simply that I am lucky and privileged enough to even have the chance to try to taste so many different figs.

Now, time for sleep, my gal.